Black Christmas
by MidnightStarr
Summary: Redone and Improved - Mariam faces her Christmas demons in a battle with her sub-conscious; Backed by 'The Dance Of The SugarPlum Fairies'.


_**Black Christmas**_

Mariam sat on the loveseat, staring out the window. The snow was roughly falling against the night sky, and the view was overlooking the mountains.

It was utterly amazing. Possibly the most beautiful thing she'd ever seen in her life.

The sole female of the SaintShields team was dressed in a light purple long sleeved sweater and a white skirt over her thin-denim jeans that were stuffed inside her calf-length winter furry boots. If it weren't for her sea blue hair, she'd almost blend in with the screaming snow outside.

Mariam shivered. A storm had earlier knocked out the power, and it was still blowing. Frankly it was cold, and the bluenette brought her legs to her chest, hugging her knees. As far as she knew, Tyson, Kenny, Hilary, Joseph and Dunga had left to go cut down a Christmas tree. Yeah, it was almost Christmas. Literally, it was Christmas Eve. Mr. Dickinson had thought that both teams

could get to know eachother better if they spent "quality" time together at a lodge in Russia. She sighed. The girl tilted her head slightly to the glittering of the fire flames reflecting off the multi-colored christmas bulbs in box upon box on the floor. The decorations cast colored strips of flicking light across the floor of the dimly lit room, and worked to make Mariam all the sadder.

She remembered the good old days, when everyone had time for eachother, everyone cared, and everyone was home for Christmas. With their families. Not worrying about stupid beyblading and stealing things from others. The whole universe just seemed to change for the worst.

Sometimes Mariam wished she could just get away from the world, free from all it's distractions, noises, unfairness, and suffering. No more loneliness. So maybe it was just her world that had changed..?

She shivered again, and coughed slightly. Perhaps the cold was getting to her. The fire a few feet behind her built neatly in the sheltered fireplace by Kai did nothing to warm the cool air.

Keeping her gave fixed on the snow flakes sailing outside, she brushed an ocean bang out of her right eye only to have it fall into place again. Part of her wished someone would sit with her, talk to her, maybe even care for her? She knew Joseph cared, but it was Joseph, her little brother. He'd care anyway... No, someone to care for her in a different way. But there was no one.

Once upon a time, like the thought of a fairytale, Mariam thought that someone could be Max. But as time pressed on, like the characters of a television show wearing away, she could see that Max clearly didn't have the same affections. He spent too much of his time with Tyson, and went it wasn't Tyson, it was the red-headed girl from the AllStarz'...

And her family, besides Joseph, couldn't be there.. There was a reason why Mariam and her sibling lived alone or with Dunga and Ozuma. They'd died. Died long ago. Actually, only a few days before Christmas... Deep down inside, the girl wondered if that was why she was so depressed around the 'cheery' holiday season. Yes, she cared for her friends (much less expecting the same attention for her), she would rather be home. Be home and opening her presents with her parents and her brother watching with happy faces. And her favorite gift... A little music box; She loved it, even though it played a tune that scared her and seemed ominous to her for a reason unknown. It had been the last gift she received from her parents before they died on the snowy roads of her small village. A day before Christmas eve. The gift was now a memory. One she normally kept close and with her. Mariam missed home.

_Everyone should be home for Christmas._ No one should be secluded in a cold mansion with friends who didn't understand.

_No one._ If Mariam wanted to get away from the world, there was only one way to truly do so, ...Right? And if she was going to do it, tonight might as well be the night. The others wouldn't even notice she was gone. It had been more than once when she'd gotten up in the middle of the night and decided to go for a stroll all alone till daylight. They didn't even dare to knock on her door after the day's beyblading practice was over... She sighed sadly, glancing around the cold room one more time. Kai must've been somewhere upstairs. Ray, she didn't know. Ozuma was probably with one of them.

Mariam stood up and walked over to the fireplace. Over the ledge, was a line of twelve music boxes. They all had different designs on them, but most likely, they played the same tune. Mariam just had a feeling.

She started at the first, and began to twirl them and coax them to play.

'Dance of the Sugarplum Fairies.' She sighed, and leant over, taking something out of her bag and placing it next to the last music box before turning, walking over to the lodge door, turning the knob slowly. The cold quickly crept in. Mariam rubbed her arms, she hadn't even stepped outside yet... Groaning, she slowly put on her boots and stalked out the door. Her skirt blew in the wind and the snow seemed to eat right through her jeans and her boots.

Mariam walked along, shivering uncontrollably. The SaintShield could practically feel her finger tips turning blue. She'd look to check, if only she could find the energy to lift her arms. She would have cried out, if only she could speak. But Mariam pressed onward. If she was going to do this, she wanted to be far away from the world she hated so much. If Mariam had it her way, she'd turn the world around. It was hard to believe she had so much to say. But she didn't want to speak those words. She didn't want to make things any worse. Those words that the world would never get to hear; Those words that would cause her team to worry; Or would they? Basically, anything that could be said to hint about Mariam's emotional problems would cause trouble. And trouble would be just that; Pointless trouble for it was too late to save her anyway. She didn't want to be saved.

Mariam wanted to be alone.

Just like those nights where no one could hear her screaming as her blood dripped to the floor; Hey, she never liked her wrist bands, but they held meaning from time to time; _All alone_. Or, maybe someone did hear her? But why didn't they come find her? They didn't hear her. Then there were those nights when she'd sit and pick apart all the old pictures. Pictures of she and her friends. Her tears had blurred most pictures, and just the thought of that made her cringe. All these bitter memories caused her to bite her tongue till it felt ready to bleed at some point.

She knew the difference between simple restless teenagers who stood and screamed 'You don't understand me! No one understands me!' at the top of their lungs, but she felt it so hard to even place herself anywhere near that category... Because she knew people didn't even try with her. And like she'd decided earlier, she didn't want them to. Those who were 'misunderstood' were probably smarter and more wanted then they could imagine. But that's just it; They 'wanted' to be wanted. She didn't. Just wanted to rest in peace.

The cold had reached a new level now, and Mariam sank to her knees on the frozen wasteland.

'I want to die. In beyblading I seemed so successful, ready to conquer anything that came my way. Who knew?.....'

Her thoughts trailed off as things began to get a little blurry. She didn't need to be the smartest person ever to know that the end was coming quickly. Temperatures were something 20 below 0. And she'd wandered without a jacket. But in her last few moments, the SaintShield racked jer brain and her memories for any indication that someone she cared about knew something was wrong. But she couldn't find any. They thought everything was okay. They were so wrong; The world was so wrong, She was so wrong for putting herself through this for so long. Mariam was not okay; _She wasn't okay!_ And it was a little late now..

'So this is how it ends, huh?..' She thought to herself as she began to lose her vision completely. The winds blew harder, the snow fell thicker, but to her, it was still the most beautiful sight she'd ever seen through her blurry emerald eyes that used to shine like the firs of a Christmas tree. Soon, she lost hearing and drowned out the sound of the wind. Black as dark as the night and storm around her consumed the girl completely in eternal sleep. She was dreaming of her black Christmas.

A few minutes later, Joseph, Max and the others wandered inside out of the frigid cold from dragging home their ideal Christmas tree. They met Kai, Ozuma and Ray coming down the stairs.

They all looked around as they came in, and their senses came back to them. Before words were spoken, there was only one sound echoing through the house.

The eery tune of 'Dance of the Sugarplum Fairies', from the last music box in a row of thirteen.

They watched it, as it chimed it's last note, and it too fell silent.


End file.
